Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Snow Day

Right now I'm dancing (meditating?) to Alanis Morissette, painting the mantel, and looking out my (home) office window at this:

And this:

A bit of a departure from my header, no? Speaking of my header...any idea how to adjust things so that it is centered at the top there? I am admittedly not a techno/web-guru, but sure would like to invoke some of that genius now again ;)

So, yeah, I've been glaringly absent. And while there are about 57 good (or at the very least, valid) reasons for it, I'll spare you the sob story. Instead I'm just going to try much, much harder to make my best intentions line up with my daily routines and actions, with consistency. Also, I'll attempt to let go of the paralyzing perfectionism that often keeps me from posting- the whole, if I can't do it "right" than why do it at all? It's silly, and ultimately, its isolating. So I'm giving it up, one post at a time, folks. And we will see, I suppose, how that develops... But if you're willing to hang with me, I'll be willing to let a little more of the real me 'hang out', and in the process give you a little more pay-off for showing up ;)

Speaking of ditching perfection, in deference to real life...I recently stumbled upon the blog of Sarah Rust Sampedro (via a favorite of mine), who is another in a long line of mothers asking questions about how to be accomplished and intentional, creative and committed to both the work of raising children and the work of being an artist- consecutively. I mean, really, let's be honest- sometimes it's hard to do anything else at all (you know, use the bathroom, make a phone call, entertain one uninterrupted thought!) while balancing a babe on your hip, diffusing a toddler's tantrum, or trying to actively and effectively discipline your five year old. (Sunny and serene?!? Who are they KIDDING?!? Cue maniacal mama laughter.) So then how (and out of what reserve) does a mother summon the energy and focus required to make great art? This can be a truly heart-wrenching dilemma for those of us who feel the pull of a creative calling, but are also being pulled, pulled at and pulled on by the tiny, chubby, persistent hands of the little ones we love the most. Sarah is inspiring to me because she's biting the bullet. She's not allowing herself to be swallowed up in the question- she's just doing what she can, when she can, with what she's got. In her own words:

I am a person who, among many other things, happens to be both a photographer and a mother. I want to be successful at both without waiting until I’m fifty, have an empty nest and find myself at a community ed class saying “I used to really like photography and now I’d like to get back into it.”

I will make and post a photograph every day throughout 2010. If, for some reason, I travel somewhere that makes posting impossible, I will still make a daily photograph and post when I am able. This is a practice for me: a practice in creativity, a practice in discipline and a practice of commitment.

So, because I share her question and her longing, I'm hoping to also muster up the strength to mirror her discipline and commitment, as I stretch my own creative muscles, and work to write and photograph and create with intention and consistency.

See you back here (and here) soon...


Christine said...

HURRAH! I was waiting for this! I love your whimsical snow photos and your header photo. I think with the header, it's too short. I don't think you can just center it in blogspot, you have to make the header the right size for the page. That's the only feedback I can give. So glad you're back, and I love your thoughts on creativity & motherhood. I hope we get to see more of that wonderful side of you again soon :) Love you.

Lauren said...

thanks, stine! the thing about the header is this- i made it as long as the blogger dimensions specify. i wonder if i can just override those dimensions? off to try, although i doubt it's going to let me upload it. hmmm...

MidnightCafe said...

SNOW!! We in Minneapolis have now been ordered to park only on the odd side of the street for the duration of the winter because we've had so much snow that it's narrowing the streets. Yikes! I'll be looking forward to your posts!

Mom said...

I just happened to stop by here and was pleasantly surprised by a post! WooHoo! You know that Dad and I want you to use your God-given gifts, writing in particular - although we also know that you are a VERY TALENTED photographer. Keep going!
Love, Mom